The Gentle Dummy Guide: What You Didn’t Know About Dummies (But Really Should)

If you’re a new parent trying to decide whether to offer your baby a dummy (or wondering what kind is best), you’re not alone. Dummies can be incredibly helpful tools for soothing and sleep, but they also come with questions, especially around breastfeeding, oral development, and when to wean.

Let’s unpack what actually matters when it comes to dummy use…because not all dummies (or advice) are created equal.

Are Dummies Bad for Babies?

Not inherently. Dummies can be used as an oral motor tool to help babies learn to suck. Dummies can also be used to help babies during unsettled/uncomfortable periods, long car rides, sleep transitions, or times of sensory overwhelm. They’re also sometimes recommended for premature babies or during medical procedures for comfort and regulation.

But dummy use can start to cause issues when:

• It replaces hunger cues or responsive feeding

• It becomes a long-term comfort tool without addressing underlying causes

• The wrong shape is used for your baby’s specific oral structure

In short, it’s less about whether you use a dummy and more about how, why, and which one.

Dummy Shape Really Matters

This one is often overlooked.

The shape and style of a dummy directly impacts how your baby’s tongue rests and moves in their mouth. Flat “orthodontic” dummies or bulbous cherry-shaped teats may interfere with tongue elevation or encourage compensatory sucking behaviours (like jaw thrusting or cheek tension).

On the flip side, smooth, cylinder-shaped dummies can encourage your baby’s tongue to cup, lift, and move in a wave-like motion, which is how babies are meant to suck at the breast.

In The Gentle Dummy Guide, I break down what to look for in a dummy based on your baby’s mouth shape, sucking habits, and feeding needs and why some “popular” brands aren’t always the best option.

How Dummy Use Can Affect Oral Development

Babies do more than just suck on dummies, they build their mouths around the habits formed during sucking.

The tongue plays a huge role in shaping the palate and supporting nasal breathing. If it’s constantly being pushed down or forward, it can lead to:

• A high, narrow palate

• Mouth breathing

• Poor jaw development

• Increased risk of feeding or airway issues later in life

Dummy use that supports oral function? Great. Dummy use that reinforces poor patterns without support? That’s where things get tricky.

The guide gives practical tools and activities to offset these risks, starting from as early as the newborn stage.

When Should I Wean Off the Dummy?

Ideally before 12 months, but every baby is different!

Most experts agree that 4–6 months is the sweet spot to begin reducing dummy use, especially if:

• Your baby’s sucking reflex is fading

• Feeding is going well and you’re no longer using the dummy for latch support

• You’ve noticed signs of oral tension, reflux, or shallow sucking

Weaning doesn’t have to be harsh or sudden. Gentle steps, like shortening dummy time or using it only for sleep, can make the process smooth for both of you.

My guide includes checklists and weaning strategies that don’t rely on guilt, shame, or outdated “you’re a big baby now” messaging.

What If My Baby Refuses the Dummy?

Most babies will accept a dummy in the first few weeks if their sucking reflex is strong — but if they don’t, there’s usually a reason.

A high palate, tongue tie, oral tension, tongue thrust, or a strong gag reflex can all make dummy use uncomfortable or difficult for a baby. In some cases, it’s a sign to dig a little deeper into oral function or feeding mechanics.

I explain what signs to look for and how to support babies who can’t take a dummy, including alternatives that support their need for sucking and self-regulation.

Want More Support? Grab the Full Gentle Dummy Guide

This blog just scratches the surface. The Gentle Dummy Guide is packed with practical tips, visuals, and dummy recommendations to help you make confident, informed decisions, all from an IBCLC and orofacial myofunctional therapy perspective, to help you:

• Choose the right dummy for your baby’s unique oral needs

• Use dummies without disrupting breastfeeding

• Understand when and how to wean gently

• Support oral function, jaw development, and nasal breathing

• Learn why some babies need extra support and what to do next

Grab it for the introductory price of $9.95 (before it increases to $14.95).

 Get the Gentle Dummy Guide now

By Brenda Munz,

RN, Endorsed Midwife,

IBCLC & Orofacial Myofunctional Therapist