Tongue Ties and Baby Sleep: The Missing Link Most Parents Are Never Told About
If your baby is waking constantly, catnapping, sleeping better upright, snoring, grunting, arching, or unable to settle no matter how many routines you try, there’s a very real chance something deeper is going on.
And no, you’re not imagining it. You’re not doing anything wrong. It’s not just teething or over-tiredness. And, it’s not always “just a phase” or sleep regression.
What most parents are never told is that tongue ties can significantly affect sleep and so much more, not only feeding. Once you understand how the tongue, airway, nervous system and feeding mechanics all connect, your baby’s sleep suddenly makes so much more sense.
Here at The Gentle Village, we don’t dismiss your instincts. We help you gently connect the dots clearly, calmly and gently.
What Is a Tongue Tie and Why Does It Affect Sleep?
A tongue tie (ankyloglossia) is more than a small piece of tissue under the tongue. It’s a restriction that limits how freely the tongue can lift, extend and move. This restricted movement affects far more than the latch at the breast or bottle, it can influence your baby’s airway, breathing patterns, digestion, nervous system regulation and overall comfort.
A baby’s tongue is meant to rest up against the palate. This supports nasal breathing, keeps the airway more stable and helps the body settle into deeper sleep. When a tongue can’t reach the palate well, babies often breathe with their mouth open, work harder to keep their airway open, and struggle to stay regulated and their sleep quality is reduced.
This is why many babies with tongue ties experience:
noisy breathing during sleep
open-mouth sleeping
snoring
increased congestion
frequent waking (we’re talking hourly or less)
difficulty staying asleep on their back
better sleep upright or on a contact nap
restlessness, kicking or wriggling through the night (especially the second part of the night)
Parents often think these are “sleep problems”, but these signs can be mean so much more that most parent’s are not told about - it can actually be signs airway, digestion and oral function problems affecting your baby’s sleep.
Why Babies With Tongue Ties Struggle to Settle
When the tongue is restricted, babies often swallow more air during feeds because they can’t maintain a smooth seal or consistent suck–swallow–breathe rhythm. That swallowed air increases tummy pressure, which contributes to reflux, discomfort and difficulty lying flat.
You may notice patterns like:
• waking soon after being put down
• arching, grunting or pulling knees up
• needing to be held upright to sleep
• short sleep cycles and frequent wakings
• becoming more unsettled as the night goes on
• feeding constantly yet never feeling fully comfortable
This is not poor sleep behaviour. It’s discomfort.
And your baby is communicating that something mechanical isn’t quite working.
How Tongue Ties Affect the Whole Body (and Why It Matters at Night)
Restrictions in the tongue impact your baby’s whole body through the fascia system - the connective tissue that connects through the entire body. Babies often carry tension through their jaw, neck, shoulders and trunk. When this connection is under strain, babies will often carry more tension than anyone realises.
During the day, this tension is easier to miss. Your baby is being held, rocked, fed, carried, stimulated and comforted. There’s constant movement and input, and that movement temporarily distracts their body from how tight or uncomfortable things really feel.
But nighttime is different.
At night, everything becomes still and quiet. There are no longer any distractions, no gentle rocking, no upright contact naps, no movement to mask the discomfort. And that’s when your baby’s tight body, or an upset little tummy begins to speak the loudest.
This is why so many babies with tongue ties will usually struggle to fall into a deep sleep. They arch their backs, stiffen when you try to lower them into the bassinet, startle easily, wriggle endlessly, or wake as soon as their body touches the mattress. Some babies will prefer sleeping on your chest or in an inclined position because it temporarily relieves that discomfort or strain they’re experiencing. Others cry the moment they’re placed down, not because they’re resisting sleep, but because lying flat simply doesn’t feel good, especially when reflux symptoms are present.
It’s one of the most heartbreaking things for parents - trying everything to settle a baby whose body just cannot find comfort. We see this everyday at The Gentle Village. But not only is it heartbreaking for parents, it’s also exhausting for the whole family.
And none of this is caused by poor settling strategies or inconsistent routines. It’s not because you have a “difficult baby” or “fussy baby” or your baby just has “low sleep needs.” It’s a body issue your baby’s experiencing - their tiny body is doing its absolute best with what it has.
Older Babies and Toddlers: When Sleep Issues Don’t Go Away
As babies grow, how they show they’re struggling with sleep begin to change, but the underlying challenges often remain. A toddler with an undiagnosed or untreated tongue tie doesn’t usually look like the “classic” newborn picture anymore. Instead, their body finds new ways to cope.
Some of the most common signs can actually look “cute” - like snoring, mouth open posture, your child’s head extended backward during sleep, or the “cute” tripod sleep position - bottom up, face down into the mattress, knees tucked underneath them. This position actually tells a story and it’s not always related to a child feeling cold overnight. Children instinctively shift into tripod sleeping when their body feels more supported and their airway feels more open in that position. It is comfort seeking, not quirkiness.
You might also notice that your child wakes up tired, clingy, fussy, or strangely irritable after what seemed like a long sleep. Some little ones swing the other way and wake hyperactive, racing through the morning with a wired, buzzy energy, the kind that isn’t joyful excitement, but rather a nervous system that never truly settled in the night.
These toddlers often move constantly, toss and turn through the night, and resist lying flat or staying still. They may snore, breathe noisily, grind their teeth, sweat heavily, or wake multiple times without a clear reason. Parents describe them as “restless sleepers”, “always on the go”, or “exhausted but can’t switch off”.
And again, families are so often told not to worry because they’ll grow out of it all. But children don’t grow out of airway challenges or oral restrictions. They actually grow around them. These sleep patterns aren’t behavioural. They’re not evidence of poor routines or inconsistency. They’re signs of a child whose body and airway have been working harder than anyone realised, often since infancy.
What looks like stubbornness at bedtime, resistance to certain sleep positions, reliance on rocking, or nightly waking often has a very real physical basis, one that’s been missed again and again. A toddler who can’t maintain comfortable nasal breathing will naturally struggle to relax into deep, restorative sleep. A child whose body holds tension will find stillness uncomfortable. And a child who has been compensating since infancy can carry patterns that continue to affect sleep long after the newborn stage has passed.
None of this is a reflection of your parenting. It’s simply the story of a body that has been working harder than it should.
Why Tongue Ties Get Missed (Even When You’ve Asked for Help)
So many parents come to us saying they’ve spent months, sometimes years, asking for support but never getting answers that felt complete. And the truth is: it’s not because anyone ignored you. It’s because most assessments still involve a quick glance under the tongue, looking for an obvious tongue tie (usually anterior ties) or because feeding seemed to be going well because your baby was “gaining weight well.”
Your baby or child’s tongue tie should never be managed based on how it looks. A quick peek under the tongue tells almost none of the story. What truly matters is how the tongue actually behaves - how it moves, lifts, changes shape, coordinates and works during real feeding.
A proper oral functional assessment looks at the whole picture. It means watching your baby feed at the breast, the bottle or with solids. It means understanding their swallow pattern, their breathing rhythm, their tension, and how their body responds during and after feeds. It also means considering how your baby and you, as the parent, are coping with the symptoms, because your experience is part of the story too.
This is why so many families instinctively know something is going on, even when the standard checks say everything looks “fine”.
When we take the time to look at your baby or child, as a whole person, their movement, their breathing pattern, their feeding history, their sleep posture, their comfort, their tension and their airway signs, the bigger picture emerges very clearly. And once you see that picture, the path forward finally feels logical and compassionate instead of confusing.
If This Sounds Like Your Baby or Toddler, There Is a Way Forward
Everything you’ve read here is only the beginning. To truly understand your child’s sleep, their feeding, their behaviour, their tension, their reflux patterns and the way their nervous system responds, you deserve a clear, gentle, step-by-step explanation that finally brings it all together.
That’s exactly why I created The Gentle Guide to Tongue Ties.
Inside the guide, we go far deeper into the tongue tie–sleep connection, how the airway develops, why certain sleep positions (like tripod sleeping) mean more than they seem, how tension affects night settling, why some toddlers wake hyperactive instead of rested, and how you can support your child in a way that feels calming and realistic.
Parents tell me it’s the first time anyone has truly explained their child to them and that the relief they feel is immediate.
If you’re ready to finally understand what’s really going on, you can explore the full guide here: The Gentle Guide to Tongue Ties
Because, you and your child deserve sleep that feels peaceful rather than overwhelming. You deserve support that feels gentle, validating and grounded in real understanding.
Welcome to The Gentle Village®. Your village that guides, informs, supports and reassures you, all in one gentle space. Because you’re not alone in this. You truly do have a village behind you.